Martha Stewart eh? America’s original domestic goddess. Like a sunnier, less boozy version of our very own Delia Smith. Oh she’s had her struggles alright – that stint in prison after lying about a stock sale for example – but she’s since bounced back better than ever, with new TV shows, books, a cameo appearance on Ugly Betty, and (if Wikipedia is to be believed) a range of prefab houses bearing her name.
But the best thing about Martha Stewart? The broad’s got banging hair. Now this will definitely out me as terminally uncool, but I really covert M-Stew’s ‘do. So shiny, so flippy. Love. It.
The second best thing about The Marthster? These chocolate crackle cookies [click the link for the recipe]. They look so cute and contain lottsa chocolate. This is known as a Win Win situation.
First things first: Sift the flour, cocoa, baking powder, and salt.
Sweaty Room temperature butter. Good grief, did I really use this much?
Of course I did! Can’t get enough of this wonderful stuff!
Butter and sugar ready to be beaten. But woe, the butter seems to be too hard.
The electric mixer is less than useless, so I resort to ye olde fashioned method (aka using a fork). I am surprisingly proficient.
Add melted chocolate. (Here’s the chocolate I melted earlier.)
Blend until delicious. Try to refrain from licking the beaters.
The mixture should be smooth and velvety. The chocolate equivalent of this rabbit:
N.B. This rabbit is velveteen, which is basically a cheap version of velvet. Like pleather, or suedette. Therefore you should actually aim for your chocolate mixture to be an upmarket version of this rabbit.
Separate the mixture into four parts and wrap each one in clingfilm.
“That’s not clingfilm!” rants Pete.
Apparently it’s a generic clingfilm substitute that doesn’t cling properly. However, it’s fine for this purpose.
Yes, I’m well aware of what it looks like. But it smells delish.
Chocolate parcels. Ready for the fridge. Chill for two hours.
And after two hours, it has chilled to a hard mass. Remove “clingfilm”.
Cut the mass into smaller bite-sized pieces and roll them into balls. Like so. Looks good enough to eat already. But here comes the fun part.
Roll it in granulated sugar.
Then roll it in icing sugar.
So remember: That’s granulated sugar…
…Then icing sugar.
You may want to prepare a
saucepan of water finger bowl to keep things civilised.
Grease (-proof paper) is the word.
Lay out the balls with plenty of space between – they need room to spread.
Think of hay bales in the summertime
After a short time in the oven, the balls will flatten out, hopefully leaving you with something like this…
In the interests of full-disclosure, I have to admit that not all of them quite worked out:
I have no idea why. Perhaps they were in a hotter part of the oven, or had too much/not enough sugar on them. They look gross, but still taste great!
Crispy on the outside, chewy in the middle – like a brownie. It’s impossible to eat just one.
It’s a bit annoying having to wait for them to chill for two hours. It also gets very messy.
It gets very messy. Trust Martha – filthy little minx. And on that note, let’s have Big-M play us out: